I have spent like $100+ on pokemon cards so I could get a Liligant or Whimsicott.
AND I HAVE NEITHER.
AHHHG
“i’m a nice guy, why don’t bitches like me”
well son, let me tell you about the birds and the bees. i have 100 birds and 100 bees in this box. they’re angry. i’m opening the box. they’re coming for you
To be a man
you don’t need
- to bind your breasts
- outie genitals
- a superiority complex
- butt hair
you do need
- to be as swift as a coursing river
- with all the force of a great typhoon
- with all the strength of a raging fire
- mysterious as the dark side of the moon
THIS IS MY FAVORITE FUCKING POST ON THE PLANET
praise the puberty overlords
HE WAS ADORABLE
he looked like a potato
a potato who turned into a beautiful french fry
DUCKS DO IT TOO
good news, everyone.
oh man. one time i was out with a group of friends, it was around 3 in the morning and we’d all just spilled out of this nightclub, all completely smashed, when one guy goes “OI DID YOU SEE THAT? THAT LIGHT JUST THEN??” and this fUCKING LASER DOT ZOOMS PAST US ON THE GROUND AND WE’RE ALL LIKE YOOOOO DAFUQ IS DIS??? I SWEAR TO GOD WE SPENT NEARLY TEN MINUTES CHASING THIS FUCKING THING AROUND THE STREET BEFORE WE FIGURED OUT THERE WAS SOME ASSHOLE LIKE 10 STORIES UP IN THE APARTMENT BEHIND US PISSING HIMSELF.
so yeah. cats, ducks and drunk college students. fucking idiots the lot of them.
